Welcome to Part I (maybe of XVI, but let's face it, this will probably be the maiden and last voyage) of the Buffalo Bills Guest Blog In-Game Live Coverage Extravaganza, or BBGBIGLCE as I, an associate of GRGGD, like to call it.
It's almost game time, and by the looks of it, those wagons that caused so many headaches around Gillette Stadium earlier today have moved inside to wreak havoc on America's Team (of Douchebags), the Patriots.
6:31 pm - Someone tell Jon Gruden he's on TV, not sitting on the sideline bench where its OK to sit spread eagle with your junk eying the camera.
6:37 pm - BRB, 40 run
6:50 pm - Tonight's first sign of adversity. 7/11 is out of High Life 40s, so I was forced to get Colt 45s. This can only mean one of three things - 1) Indianapolis is taking New England's place tonight; 2) Colt Brennan has been waived by the Redskins and picked up by the Bills and will start tonight; or 3) Tom Brady's season and career comes to an end because he gets shot.
6:58 pm - Digging the throwbacks. Apparently ESPN can spring for brainiacs Trent Dilfer, Matt Millen and Teddy Bruschi, but can't get the throwback helmets for the set. Nice.
7:10 pm - Hey Schutt, new product idea - Rocket Propelled Shoulder Pads. You can thank Lee Evans, via Jon Gruden. You Heard It Here First.
7:16 pm - It can't be good when your kicker makes the first tackle of the season. Congrats Ryan Lindell.
7:16 pm - When did Herm Edwards become a MNF analyst?
7:30 pm - 2009 Buffalo Bills' Defense mantra - Bend, but don't break.
7:32 pm - Why don't we just get THE Jim Kelly as Offensive Coordinator, instead of his third string backup?
7:40 pm - Skeletor + Steve Carell's 40-Year Old Virgin character = Dick Jauron
7:41 pm - Bills lead 7-0. Why do I get the feeling that this will wind up like the Redskins-Broncos in Super Bowl XXII?
7:51 pm - Season prediction following 1st quarter - Buffalo becomes the first team in NFL history to go undefeated during the regular season AND win the Super Bowl. You Heard It Here First.
7:55 pm - Nice 29-yard punt there, Brian Mormon.
8:08 pm - Poz goes out. I may have to alter my Post-1st Quarter Prediction.
8:23 pm - Atta boy Schobel. Hey Alex, Schobel for TO, try it.
8:35 pm - OK, good first half Buffalo. I think it's safe to say the JP era has relocated to Las Vegas.
8:46 pm - You Heard It Here First - RIP Patrick Swayze.
8:49 pm - I too want to kiss Suzy Kolber.
8:54 pm - Brian "Pin 'Em Deep" Moorman. I spelled it right this time.
9:00 pm - Has any coach ever, EVER, taught Leodis McKelvin how to tackle?
9:09 pm - Welcome to the offense TO.
9:30 pm - Tirico's pissing me off, so here's this via Wikipedia - "In 1992, Mike Tirico was suspended by ESPN for three months for unwelcome advances. In his book ESPN: The Uncensored History, published in 2000, New York Times reporter Michael Freeman reported several instances of sexual harassment by Mike Tirico[1]including attempted groping and sexual solicitation[2]."
Does this mean Tirico made sexual advances at a man? I don't know, but I wouldn't be surprised.
9:32 pm - CUT. MCKELVIN. NOW.
9:45 pm - Fred Jackson - All-21st Century Team
10:23 pm - Stepped outside, finished my second 40, collected myself and was reminded of a conclusion I came to after the loss to the Jets last year. When the Buffalo Bills lose, they lose with a style and flair all their own. At least they've got that going for them.
I'm going to get another Colt 45. Good night.
- Jesse
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