Sunday, October 18, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
How to fix the Redskins
Okay, okay. The Redskins are not a good football team right now. In fact, they are a terrible football team. They are like a chipmunk with a disease; they started out kind of cute but with each passing week they wither further and further away so that their fur is splotchy and they don't have the strength to stand up on their own and so they have no way of getting food and then they keep getting weaker and everyone in the forest just starts to feel sorry for them. Yes. The Redskins are exactly like that.
On a quick side note, isn't it adorable when chipmunks store food in their cheeks?
But back to the matter at hand, every level of the organization is in shambles right now. It's Overseer Snyder bringing in an offensive "consultant" (read: future interim head coach) four(4) weeks into the season without asking his head coach about it. It's that very head coach wasting time outs and calling for a hook and ladder as our last ditch effort when we need to go 40 yards and our quarterback can easily throw the ball 65 yards. It's also that head coach losing to a the worst team in the history of the NFL, and having the nerve during his post game press conference to say "We're getting better." At what? Making other teams feel good about themselves? Giving the media someone to make fun of? It's a front office that flat out REFUSES to draft young, able, offensive linemen; so that we'd be better off lining up a turnstile in front of the defense. It's MeAngelo Fall getting stutter stepped and then dragged by Jake Delhomme for a first down. Read that again so that it sinks in. God Damn Jake Delhomme dragged a Redskins defender several yards for a first down today that sealed the game. In regards to the bet with TJ, I don't even want to think about how that effects the score. The "skunk rule" may be starting to apply.
However, GRGGD is not a whining and complaining blog. We offer solutions. We deliver results. We ride the future train straight to the moon and come back with riches and technologies that change lives. I'm not entirely sure what that last sentence means. Either way, here is the one(1) step solution to fix the state of The Redskins:
HIRE PROFESSOR CHARLES XAVIER
I'm thinking a Bill Parcells in Miami kind of role. Doesn't need to be on the field per say. Just needs to be in charge of making the team not an embarrassment. Let's have a quick look of some of his credentials:
1. He's a smart dude. No two ways about it. Professor X is smarter than you, me, and anyone else currently associated with football.
2. He's a proven leader. He started a school for the gifted and leads them on all sorts of green peace type missions. He's a real humanitarian.
3. Oh, right. He can friggin control everyone's thoughts. He can make entire other team believe they are in the girl scouts selling cookies, and that touching the football will give them a VD.
4. He already knows some talent that could declare eligibility in the draft and get picked up on the cheap.
He could also use his mind powers to make our team realize that they are supposed to be good. Also, we all know Daniel Snyder likes to make a splash. It doesn't get much splashier than a level 4 paraplegic mutant with a hover wheel chair. Prof. X is the missing link. He is what separates this team from greatness. Hire him.
Change, hope, progress. You heard it here first.
-Brandon
On a quick side note, isn't it adorable when chipmunks store food in their cheeks?
But back to the matter at hand, every level of the organization is in shambles right now. It's Overseer Snyder bringing in an offensive "consultant" (read: future interim head coach) four(4) weeks into the season without asking his head coach about it. It's that very head coach wasting time outs and calling for a hook and ladder as our last ditch effort when we need to go 40 yards and our quarterback can easily throw the ball 65 yards. It's also that head coach losing to a the worst team in the history of the NFL, and having the nerve during his post game press conference to say "We're getting better." At what? Making other teams feel good about themselves? Giving the media someone to make fun of? It's a front office that flat out REFUSES to draft young, able, offensive linemen; so that we'd be better off lining up a turnstile in front of the defense. It's MeAngelo Fall getting stutter stepped and then dragged by Jake Delhomme for a first down. Read that again so that it sinks in. God Damn Jake Delhomme dragged a Redskins defender several yards for a first down today that sealed the game. In regards to the bet with TJ, I don't even want to think about how that effects the score. The "skunk rule" may be starting to apply.
However, GRGGD is not a whining and complaining blog. We offer solutions. We deliver results. We ride the future train straight to the moon and come back with riches and technologies that change lives. I'm not entirely sure what that last sentence means. Either way, here is the one(1) step solution to fix the state of The Redskins:
HIRE PROFESSOR CHARLES XAVIER
I'm thinking a Bill Parcells in Miami kind of role. Doesn't need to be on the field per say. Just needs to be in charge of making the team not an embarrassment. Let's have a quick look of some of his credentials:
1. He's a smart dude. No two ways about it. Professor X is smarter than you, me, and anyone else currently associated with football.
2. He's a proven leader. He started a school for the gifted and leads them on all sorts of green peace type missions. He's a real humanitarian.
3. Oh, right. He can friggin control everyone's thoughts. He can make entire other team believe they are in the girl scouts selling cookies, and that touching the football will give them a VD.
4. He already knows some talent that could declare eligibility in the draft and get picked up on the cheap.
He could also use his mind powers to make our team realize that they are supposed to be good. Also, we all know Daniel Snyder likes to make a splash. It doesn't get much splashier than a level 4 paraplegic mutant with a hover wheel chair. Prof. X is the missing link. He is what separates this team from greatness. Hire him.
Change, hope, progress. You heard it here first.
-Brandon
Sunday, October 4, 2009
The GRGGD TJ vs. Brandon DeAngelo Hall/Fall Bet: Week Four(4)
Today is a good day. It is good because The Skins were able to come out with a win, despite Jason Campbell's best efforts. Also, I finally made up some ground in the bet. D Hall came up with a nice interception including some return yardage today. Also, I don't recall seeing anything completed thrown his way. Carlos Rodgers did a good job evening that out by letting everything get by him; but that's a story for another blog.
D Hall gets awarded 1.5 points in my favor, bringing the score for the season 5 - 2.5, TJ. He only gets 1.5, and not 2, because of his ridiculous celebration after his interception. That cost him half a point for style.
D Hall gets awarded 1.5 points in my favor, bringing the score for the season 5 - 2.5, TJ. He only gets 1.5, and not 2, because of his ridiculous celebration after his interception. That cost him half a point for style.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
the GRGGD TJ vs. Brandon DeAngelo Hall/Fall Bet: Week Three(3)
No need for a lot of introduction on this supposedly regular segment. Let's get right to it:
We took a brief hiatus from the bet posting last week. Here's how week 2 shook out:
D Hall slipped on the perfectly dry, sunbathed field and was beat for the only touchdown scored in the game vs. The Rams.
That brought our betting score to 4-1, in favor of TJ.
Now we are in week three (3). In this particular game, we're going to go with another 1-0 victory in favor, yet again, of TJ. This brings the season total to 5-1. Some may argue that D Hall didn't do anything wrong this game, and there is merit to that. However, TJ wins the point for that same reason. D Hall (slowly transitioning to Me Fall) could have watched that game from the comfort of the couch in his living room and had more of an impact on the game.
Season total: 5-1, TJ. But still lots of season to go. There will be more on the abysmal game today later.
Go Redskins (even still),
Brandon
We took a brief hiatus from the bet posting last week. Here's how week 2 shook out:
D Hall slipped on the perfectly dry, sunbathed field and was beat for the only touchdown scored in the game vs. The Rams.
That brought our betting score to 4-1, in favor of TJ.
Now we are in week three (3). In this particular game, we're going to go with another 1-0 victory in favor, yet again, of TJ. This brings the season total to 5-1. Some may argue that D Hall didn't do anything wrong this game, and there is merit to that. However, TJ wins the point for that same reason. D Hall (slowly transitioning to Me Fall) could have watched that game from the comfort of the couch in his living room and had more of an impact on the game.
Season total: 5-1, TJ. But still lots of season to go. There will be more on the abysmal game today later.
Go Redskins (even still),
Brandon
Monday, September 14, 2009
GUEST BLOG - Bills vs. Patriots In-Game Coverage Extravaganza
Welcome to Part I (maybe of XVI, but let's face it, this will probably be the maiden and last voyage) of the Buffalo Bills Guest Blog In-Game Live Coverage Extravaganza, or BBGBIGLCE as I, an associate of GRGGD, like to call it.
It's almost game time, and by the looks of it, those wagons that caused so many headaches around Gillette Stadium earlier today have moved inside to wreak havoc on America's Team (of Douchebags), the Patriots.
6:31 pm - Someone tell Jon Gruden he's on TV, not sitting on the sideline bench where its OK to sit spread eagle with your junk eying the camera.
6:37 pm - BRB, 40 run
6:50 pm - Tonight's first sign of adversity. 7/11 is out of High Life 40s, so I was forced to get Colt 45s. This can only mean one of three things - 1) Indianapolis is taking New England's place tonight; 2) Colt Brennan has been waived by the Redskins and picked up by the Bills and will start tonight; or 3) Tom Brady's season and career comes to an end because he gets shot.
6:58 pm - Digging the throwbacks. Apparently ESPN can spring for brainiacs Trent Dilfer, Matt Millen and Teddy Bruschi, but can't get the throwback helmets for the set. Nice.
7:10 pm - Hey Schutt, new product idea - Rocket Propelled Shoulder Pads. You can thank Lee Evans, via Jon Gruden. You Heard It Here First.
7:16 pm - It can't be good when your kicker makes the first tackle of the season. Congrats Ryan Lindell.
7:16 pm - When did Herm Edwards become a MNF analyst?
7:30 pm - 2009 Buffalo Bills' Defense mantra - Bend, but don't break.
7:32 pm - Why don't we just get THE Jim Kelly as Offensive Coordinator, instead of his third string backup?
7:40 pm - Skeletor + Steve Carell's 40-Year Old Virgin character = Dick Jauron
7:41 pm - Bills lead 7-0. Why do I get the feeling that this will wind up like the Redskins-Broncos in Super Bowl XXII?
7:51 pm - Season prediction following 1st quarter - Buffalo becomes the first team in NFL history to go undefeated during the regular season AND win the Super Bowl. You Heard It Here First.
7:55 pm - Nice 29-yard punt there, Brian Mormon.
8:08 pm - Poz goes out. I may have to alter my Post-1st Quarter Prediction.
8:23 pm - Atta boy Schobel. Hey Alex, Schobel for TO, try it.
8:35 pm - OK, good first half Buffalo. I think it's safe to say the JP era has relocated to Las Vegas.
8:46 pm - You Heard It Here First - RIP Patrick Swayze.
8:49 pm - I too want to kiss Suzy Kolber.
8:54 pm - Brian "Pin 'Em Deep" Moorman. I spelled it right this time.
9:00 pm - Has any coach ever, EVER, taught Leodis McKelvin how to tackle?
9:09 pm - Welcome to the offense TO.
9:30 pm - Tirico's pissing me off, so here's this via Wikipedia - "In 1992, Mike Tirico was suspended by ESPN for three months for unwelcome advances. In his book ESPN: The Uncensored History, published in 2000, New York Times reporter Michael Freeman reported several instances of sexual harassment by Mike Tirico[1]including attempted groping and sexual solicitation[2]."
Does this mean Tirico made sexual advances at a man? I don't know, but I wouldn't be surprised.
9:32 pm - CUT. MCKELVIN. NOW.
9:45 pm - Fred Jackson - All-21st Century Team
10:23 pm - Stepped outside, finished my second 40, collected myself and was reminded of a conclusion I came to after the loss to the Jets last year. When the Buffalo Bills lose, they lose with a style and flair all their own. At least they've got that going for them.
I'm going to get another Colt 45. Good night.
- Jesse
It's almost game time, and by the looks of it, those wagons that caused so many headaches around Gillette Stadium earlier today have moved inside to wreak havoc on America's Team (of Douchebags), the Patriots.
6:31 pm - Someone tell Jon Gruden he's on TV, not sitting on the sideline bench where its OK to sit spread eagle with your junk eying the camera.
6:37 pm - BRB, 40 run
6:50 pm - Tonight's first sign of adversity. 7/11 is out of High Life 40s, so I was forced to get Colt 45s. This can only mean one of three things - 1) Indianapolis is taking New England's place tonight; 2) Colt Brennan has been waived by the Redskins and picked up by the Bills and will start tonight; or 3) Tom Brady's season and career comes to an end because he gets shot.
6:58 pm - Digging the throwbacks. Apparently ESPN can spring for brainiacs Trent Dilfer, Matt Millen and Teddy Bruschi, but can't get the throwback helmets for the set. Nice.
7:10 pm - Hey Schutt, new product idea - Rocket Propelled Shoulder Pads. You can thank Lee Evans, via Jon Gruden. You Heard It Here First.
7:16 pm - It can't be good when your kicker makes the first tackle of the season. Congrats Ryan Lindell.
7:16 pm - When did Herm Edwards become a MNF analyst?
7:30 pm - 2009 Buffalo Bills' Defense mantra - Bend, but don't break.
7:32 pm - Why don't we just get THE Jim Kelly as Offensive Coordinator, instead of his third string backup?
7:40 pm - Skeletor + Steve Carell's 40-Year Old Virgin character = Dick Jauron
7:41 pm - Bills lead 7-0. Why do I get the feeling that this will wind up like the Redskins-Broncos in Super Bowl XXII?
7:51 pm - Season prediction following 1st quarter - Buffalo becomes the first team in NFL history to go undefeated during the regular season AND win the Super Bowl. You Heard It Here First.
7:55 pm - Nice 29-yard punt there, Brian Mormon.
8:08 pm - Poz goes out. I may have to alter my Post-1st Quarter Prediction.
8:23 pm - Atta boy Schobel. Hey Alex, Schobel for TO, try it.
8:35 pm - OK, good first half Buffalo. I think it's safe to say the JP era has relocated to Las Vegas.
8:46 pm - You Heard It Here First - RIP Patrick Swayze.
8:49 pm - I too want to kiss Suzy Kolber.
8:54 pm - Brian "Pin 'Em Deep" Moorman. I spelled it right this time.
9:00 pm - Has any coach ever, EVER, taught Leodis McKelvin how to tackle?
9:09 pm - Welcome to the offense TO.
9:30 pm - Tirico's pissing me off, so here's this via Wikipedia - "In 1992, Mike Tirico was suspended by ESPN for three months for unwelcome advances. In his book ESPN: The Uncensored History, published in 2000, New York Times reporter Michael Freeman reported several instances of sexual harassment by Mike Tirico[1]including attempted groping and sexual solicitation[2]."
Does this mean Tirico made sexual advances at a man? I don't know, but I wouldn't be surprised.
9:32 pm - CUT. MCKELVIN. NOW.
9:45 pm - Fred Jackson - All-21st Century Team
10:23 pm - Stepped outside, finished my second 40, collected myself and was reminded of a conclusion I came to after the loss to the Jets last year. When the Buffalo Bills lose, they lose with a style and flair all their own. At least they've got that going for them.
I'm going to get another Colt 45. Good night.
- Jesse
THIS JUST IN...
You Heard It Here First...WBOO in Boston is reporting heavy traffic congestion caused by wagons near Gillette Stadium in Foxborough, MA, this afternoon. At this time it is unclear what has brought forth such a gathering, a circling if you will, but it is being led by these men and is believed to be related to tonight's NFL contest between the New England Patsies Patriots and Buffalo Bills. Check back with GRGGD or brother-site Hampton Roads Bills for more information as it becomes available.
GRGGD - It's Where Breaking News Happens
-Jesse (Go Bills!)
GRGGD - It's Where Breaking News Happens
-Jesse (Go Bills!)
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